The first few weeks after I separated from Veruca were incredibly
liberating. I moved into a nice home and spent a lot of time with my
girls setting up the place the way we wanted. We painted the girls’ rooms
the brightest pink of pink. We bought bunk beds. We watched tons of
movies and ate barrels of ice cream. We really enjoyed ourselves.
My youngest daughter Harriett wanted a cat so we got a cat. I felt a
freedom that I’d not experienced for a long time and I had my children there to
enjoy it with me.
The kids were always absolutely thrilled when it came time for
their week with me, their arrival would set off a barrage of hugs, kisses,
squeals and laughter. But this is also when India began to say “no
mommy’s house” on a regular basis. She also began to ask daily how many more
days’ she had left with Daddy. When I’d say anything but “you have to go
back to Mommy’s’ today”, she’d smile, swipe her one good hand across her
forehead, say “whew” and giggle.
Previous to my separation from Veruca, India would often plead
with us to not take her back to our family home; he wanted to be anywhere but
home. In hindsight, India was being terribly neglected by her mother both
physically and emotionally and wasn’t able to tell anybody because of her limited
communication abilities. India also could feel the awful tension in the
home. As my brother put it, “the room became icy cold when Veruca and I were in
the same room”. My house was not a home; it was a dungeon - dark
and cold.
India’s condition was worsening. Her little body was
becoming stiffer and stiffer. She’d lost her ability to stand and take
steps. Hell, she’d lost virtually all that she’d gained over the previous
years. Pain was becoming a daily issue; the situation was increasingly spiraling
out of control. I’d found myself desperately trying to learn all the
critical techniques for India’s welfare that Veruca had learned over the
years. I found that I was unbelievably frustrated and angry with myself
for not learning everything that Veruca did. I was clumsily trying to
help India. I’d read articles and watch videos of India’s interventions
to try to figure out what to do. The “Great Recession” was in its infancy at
this point and my real estate company had come to a screeching halt and my cash
flow had dried up. The only good thing about this economic disaster is
that it gave me plenty of time on my hands. When my children were with
me, I was able to give them a huge amount of attention.
At this point, I was broke; literally. I couldn’t afford to
send India to a professional facility or hire somebody to come in and work with
her as I’d done in the past. What insurance and the state covered was
incomprehensibly inadequate for my child. One of India’s previous interventionists,
Viktoria, suggested that we do Skype video calls over the internet so that she
could see India’s condition and give me “real time” instruction on what to do
to help her. At the time, Viktoria was living outside of London England working
at a school that specialized in children with cerebral palsy. We’d spend
long periods of time, me stretching India as Viktoria watched over the Internet
and gave me instructions.
Viktoria was hands down the most amazing interventionists we’d
ever met and the best thing to have ever happened to India. The icing on
the cake is that India absolutely loved Viktoria. I have to give credit
to Veruca for finding and hiring Viktoria in the fist place. When Veruca
found her, Viktoria was living in her home country of Hungary and working out
of Ireland, Great Britain, Canada and the United States; she was in high
demand. When she arrived at our home for her first 4-week visit, she
immediately went to work and profoundly changed India’s life.
Our Internet video sessions lasted for several weeks but we’d
reached the limit of what we could do. India’s condition continued to
spiral downward. By this point, her legs were scissoring (crossing)
terribly and her overall body was showing signs of atrophy. It was
painfully clear that India’s mother wasn’t lifting a finger to help her and my
wholehearted but unskilled intervention wasn’t succeeding.
By now, it was late December 2008. Veruca had filed for
divorce and was behaving like a monster. I was desperate beyond words to
try and figure out what to do with India and get her back on track. One evening
after a particularly bad day for India, I swallowed my pride and called Viktoria
in England. I explained to Viktoria that I was broke; I could hardly pay
for groceries. I went on to tell her that I was desperate to find help
for India. I asked her if there was anyway that she could come to the
United States over the coming Christmas holiday. I told her that I could
probably borrow enough money to pay her plane ticket but couldn’t afford her
fee. Viktoria listened quietly, when I was done, she said that she’d get
back to me. About 2 hours later, Viktoria called back. I
could feel my blood pressure rise and stomach tighten up when I saw her number
on my caller id. When I answered, Viktoria said “Nick, I want to let you
know that I arrive day after tomorrow at 10:00 pm. I’ve paid for my plane
ticket; it’s my Christmas gift to you. I’ll stay for 3 weeks and do
everything I can for you and your family”. I was stunned; I didn’t know
what to say but thank you. When we got off the phone, I felt the most
amazing sense of hope that I’d felt in a long time; I was giddy.
In all fairness, I need to back up a few years and explain my
relationship with Viktoria. When she first arrived at our home, I thought
she was a decent enough person, I had no issue with her and we got along just
fine. But this quickly changed as Veruca began to tell me very troubling
things about Viktoria. Veruca said that Viktoria was an
anti-Semite. I’m not Jewish, nor do I believe in any religion but I do
have a problem with a true anti-Semite. Then Veruca told me that Viktoria
was very homophobic and loathed the gay and lesbian community. This
really upset me as I have many homosexual and lesbian family members and
friends. I began to seriously dislike Viktoria and she disliked me.
Turns out, Viktoria was simultaneously being given bogus information about
me. Turns out Viktoria wasn’t anti-Semite or homophobic. For
whatever reason, from day one, Veruca had her mind set on distorting who Viktoria
and I were to each other.
Several years after we met and numerous 4-week sessions later, Viktoria
and I finally got to know each other during a one-week period. Veruca was
on a month long trip to Asia. Viktoria arrived for a session with India a
week before Veruca returned. I was instructed by Veruca to be nice to Viktoria,
cater to her needs and make her feel welcome. Veruca went onto telling me
that Viktoria was “invaluable” and we couldn’t afford to lose her. I begrudgingly
agreed to play nice host to this anti-Semite, gay bashing, intolerant Hungarian.
When the day came that Viktoria arrived, I did as
instructed. I ferried her around town so that she could buy supplies and
whatnots. I made sure she was well fed and even begrudgingly sat through
a movie each evening. But then it happened, we actually talked. I
was caught off guard, Viktoria wasn’t Satan in a human suit after
all. Viktoria was funny, interesting, intelligent and very
kind. As the days passed and we talked more and more, I found myself
intrigued by this woman. I looked forward to our conversations. It
had been over a decade since I’d had kind and fun interactions with a woman
like I was with Viktoria. After awhile, I began to find myself drawn to
her, which was confusing for me. I knew my marriage was a nightmare, I
knew that I didn’t want to be in my marriage, but I was torn so I didn’t pursue
Viktoria until a year later; just before my separation from Veruca.
After my separation from Veruca, I made the decision to fly to
Europe to see Viktoria. I wanted and needed to know if my feelings for
her were real. I had many questions that I needed answered. My
visit to the England was amazingly surreal. It was then that I realized
that I was deeply in love with Viktoria and she to me. In some ways, I
believe this trip literally saved my life. Viktoria showed my kindness
and love like I’d never experienced and at a very, very dark time in my life.
So bringing us back to Christmas of 2008. Viktoria arrived
the night before my custody week began with my girls. It was wonderful to
have her in my home. The next day when the girls arrived, Viktoria
positioned herself in the living room with her back to the front door. As
usual, Marion came racing in, not noticing Viktoria. Then I came in with
India. She was her usual giddy self when she arrives at my house, talking
up a storm and asking how many more days she’ll be with me. By this
point, we were standing in the living room in front of Viktoria but India
hadn’t noticed her yet. India was in the middle of telling me something
when she caught sight of Viktoria. She slowly turned her head to look at
this beautiful mirage. Then looked back at me, eyes the size of saucers,
slowly beginning one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen on this little
girl. She looked me straight in the eyes and said “Viktoria”? I
said “yes sweetie, it’s Viktoria”, India asked me one more time and when I said
yes she curled up in a little ball and began to scream with excitement. I
handed her to Viktoria and she grabbed and held onto Viktoria with all her
might. India didn’t let go of Viktoria for over 30 minutes and when she
did, she left dark bruises on Viktoria’s side from where India’s one good had
held on for dear life. India’s best friend had returned.
We commenced to make plans for the Christmas holiday, which
consisted of driving north to my families’ home town, then off to the mountains
to take the girls skiing. First, we needed to go to Verucas home and pick
up all of India’s necessary therapy equipment. Sadly, this would be Viktoria’s
baptism into Verucas destructive and warped world. Veruca refused to
allow us access to India’s equipment. She’d not let us have one item
even though they sat in the same place they’d been for years, dusty and
unused. We were horrified. Here I’d managed to get the single most
beneficial person in India’s life to come help her for 3 weeks, only 3 weeks
and we were refused the tools for India’s intervention. I was panicking
as time was of the essence; I wanted to make the most of every minute that Viktoria
was here for India. We eventually gained access to the gear but it took
the intervention of attorneys and the threat of the court to make it happen.
We proceeded to leave for the holiday and had the time of our
lives. We ate like kings, watched dozens of movies, laughed, teased and
even got in a full day of skiing – India included! But it was a very sad
and lonely day when Viktoria left. I’d realized at that point that I
really was in love with her. She loved me and equally as important, she
loved my children.
The real divorce battle began just after the New Year in
2009. It started with Veruca attempting to withhold my children from
me. As I’d learn throughout the process, Veruca had it in her head that
if she believed it, it made it so. So one day she told me that I could
only have the kids several days a month. This obviously didn’t fly and
would have been disastrous to India if it had.
Verucas next attempt to remove the children from me was through
the police. Early in the divorce process we’d agreed that I’d take all
the photo albums, discs and videotapes, digitize them and upload to an Internet
service so that she that she and her family could download at will; everybody
could have copies. By far, Veruca took the vast majority of these photo
and video shots; her passion was photography. One day, there was a knock
at my door. When I answered, there were 2 police officers standing
there. They proceeded to inform me that they, the FBI and the local
District Attorney had just concluded an investigation into my involvement in
child endangerment and possible child pornography. My reaction was to
laugh. I stepped outside and looked around for my friends, thinking I was the
unwitting recipient of a pretty good prank. Nobody came out from the
bushes or around the corner, it was just the police officers and I. They
went onto tell me that all charges were being dropped and the investigation was
being suspended but they were bound to notify me and provide me with the
paperwork; I was horrified.
As I read the police report, my heart began to pound, I broke out
in a cold sweat and had to hold back the vomit. Veruca had hand picked
very old photos and videos of our children that I’d uploaded to a Google based
Internet photo service as agreed. She’d neglected to inform the police
that these photos were on this site as per an agreement that our Attorney’s had
approved. These were very innocent home media of the girls doing whatever
young children do. She’d chosen and sent to the police a select few where
our children either were naked or without shirts, but none of which were
graphic or revealing whatsoever; they were home videos and photos.
Fortunately for me and my children, the police, FBI and District Attorney also
agreed and documented that this material was noting but innocent home
media. Regardless, I was mortified, as Veruca had spread the world about
the investigation, clearly distorting its origination and falsehoods thereof
perpetrated by her. I was dealing with a mentally ill, seriously
deranged scorned woman.
The damage from the investigation runs deep and I find myself
still dealing with it. Earlier this year, I took my youngest daughter to
her gymnastics class. As I sat in the bleachers watching her, a woman
came up to me and said, “You know, people frown on you sitting here watching
all these little girls”. I was stunned and it took me a few minutes to
recognize the lady. She was a close friend of a woman who had a Power of
Attorney to represent Veruca at one of India’s school meetings. She was
also a local Realtor, a member of my industry in a small town.
Soon after the police event, Veruca showed her insanity again,
this time in front of an entire room of public school teachers and
administrators. We were in what is called an “IEP” Individual Education
Plan for India when Veruca announced to the group that she was no longer going
to take India to her therapies. You could have heard a pin drop when she
said this. Veruca went on to say that it was becoming too much
hassle for her to have to fold up and place India’s wheelchair in the trunk of
her Mercedes E55 AMG and transport her to the intervention facility in our
small town.
After Viktoria had to go back to Europe, India began to backslide
physically; despite all the work Viktoria had done and taught me to do. I
took India to her Pediatrician for a physical and to get some guidance from him.
In our session, he said that India looked very bad and that he was
concerned. He went on to tell me that he felt because India was so weak
that she should be taken out of public school altogether to avoid her being
exposed to any viruses. He also said “Whatever you were doing in the past
to make her so strong, do it again”. He was referring to all the
long-term therapy and Conductive Education camps we’d taken India to throughout
the United States and Canada over the years. The Pediatrician sent me off
with a referral to get updated x-rays.
I told my attorney what the Pediatrician had said, she called him
on the spot and asked if he’d repeat it in court; he said yes. When the day
came in court for a custody hearing, we called the Physician to the stand to
testify on India’s behalf. I was bewildered with what came out of his
mouth. On the stand, under oath, this man said that he thought India
should be in school full time and should not go to the “boot camp” style camps
that we’d been sending her to over the years. I couldn’t believe my ears;
he’d changed his opinion 180 degrees, what the hell was going on?
Turns out, Veruca caught wind that I’d taken India to see the
Pediatrician. She’d show up at his office and somehow convinced him to
change his story and outright lie on the stand. Since then, I’ve learned
from many sources that younger women influence this Pediatrician; this is
exactly what Veruca did. We also learned that Veruca went to the
physician who reviewed the x-rays that the Pediatrician ordered and attempted
to badger him too but luckily he didn’t stand for her nonsense.
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